WANT ACCOUNTABILITY?

A recent email got me thinking about the whole subject of accountability. K. wants to apply what I said in my talk, “Take Care of Yourself,” (see video) and asked for some help in doing this.

That’s always exciting for a speaker or author to hear!

K. wrote, “Based on your talk about the four areas in your life to stay focused on… Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual, I would like to develop an accountability group of three women. What questions and format would you suggest for a one hour meeting once per week?”

Being accountable to one another is Biblical, but it’s not necessarily easy to do. Look for some suggestions on how to find an accountability partner or set up a small accountability group in Espresso for Your Soul. I’ve also provided questions for each of the areas addressed.

Interestingly, I am speaking on this topic to a group of doctors and medical students in Kenya in three weeks. It doesn’t seem to matter what occupies our time, most of us have hectic and demanding lives and frequently neglect to take care of our own well-being. I hope this article reminds you to look at these issues and make any necessary adjustments—perhaps even getting a small group of friends together so you can “spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24).

Take Care of Yourself! Want to be in an accountability relationship? Before you begin the process, here are some characteristics of a healthy group or one-on-one get-together with a friend who is also committed to personal and spiritual growth. You can find more information here. Characteristics of a Healthy Accountability Group Vulnerability - Each member is honest about how they have failed. Accepting of God's Love and Forgiveness - Each member accepts God's forgiveness for their sin, trusting him and rejecting feelings of guilt and shame. Validation and Support - Regardless of what temptations a member struggles with or how they have sinned, they should be accepted by the group and loved, not judged or ridiculed. Trust and Safety - What is shared in the group stays in the group. Prayer - The members of the group together ask God to help them with their specific struggles, strengthen them as they face temptation, forgive them when they fail, and help them stand up again to walk with him and live as "more than conquerors through him" (Romans 8:37). Accountability - If a member is struggling with a certain sin or temptation and shares this with the group, the group will hold him or her accountable to act in a godly way in that area. Ownership - Each member that participates in the group is consciously engaged in the group's meetings. Friendship and Fellowship - All of the members build healthy friendships with each other as sisters in Christ

At your first meeting: Watch the video and discuss the following questions. (Keep a notebook nearby)

As you begin looking at your life with the end in view:

• What do you want to be true of you at the end?
• What kind of person do you want to become?
• What do you want to have invested your life in?
• What changes might be necessary to accomplish what is most important to you?

Take care of yourself by considering your:  

PHYSICAL HEALTH:

Take an honest look at what you need to do to achieve and maintain a healthy body. With each item, ask: What is my current practice? What is my goal? What changes will I make?

• Exercise: I will . . .
• Diet: I will . . .
• Sleep . . .
• Pace of life . . .

Ask yourself: How do I either drive or neglect myself physically? What areas of my physical health need priority attention? When and how often will I make needed changes?

INTELLECTUAL HEALTH

Continual learning is vital to keep your mind sharp. If you don’t want to stagnate, lose your intellectual edge, or live in the past you must keep taking in current information and mastering new skills. Check off what you do currently to keep growing mentally. What do you want to do more of? What changes are needed? When will you do this?

• Read ________ books per month, (Discuss titles, suggestions, accountability)
• Take a class in . . .
• Attend a seminar/lecture/training opportunity . . .
• Join a book club or study group
• Other avenues—online courses, etc.

Ask yourself: When did I last read a book or attend an event that challenged me, made me think, or prompted me to make changes in some area of my life?

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

When things aren’t going well, pay attention to what is happening in you. Give each other permission to talk about your emotions and struggles and to pray over one another. Examine your feelings, pray for God-given insight, and ask yourself the following questions.

• What is the matter with me? (Identify the problem)
• Why am I so upset? (Look for underlying cause)
• Why am I feeling like this in particular? (Look for connection with previous events)
• What is going on? (Check your inner messages)

Discuss what triggers your emotionally difficult feelings.

Review the suggestions for emotional health given on the video and choose one per session to implement.

SPIRITUAL HEALTH

Keeping the end in view, how will you make your values and beliefs part of your daily life? Discuss and commit to the following spiritual disciplines. Add other disciplines that matter to you.

• I will spend _________ (amount of time) reading the Word, journaling, praying, listening and meditating. (Begin with what you can do and add as you go along.)
• I will choose and commit to a specific time in God’s presence.
• I will meet with my accountability friend(s) __________ a month.
• I will serve in my church/community ____________ hours a week/month.
• I will take a Sabbath rest day each week to refresh myself in the Lord.

Then it’s on to speaking at seven different events in Nairobi before returning home.

Welcome from Poppy

Inspiration

Want to Grow?
Check Out Poppy's Tips

Free Resources

Upcoming Events

The questions supplied will help you begin your times together. For further input, I encourage you to Google Accountability Groups and look at the many excellent resources available on line such as this one.

More Free Resources :  Be sure and check out further FREE resources for a book club or accountability partnership here.

An excerpt from "I'm Too Young to be This Old: Surviving and Thriving in the Muddled, Middle Years" is available. Plus, REFLECTION questions are available for discussion. In addition, I hope you'll enjoy reading a special story from "Reaching Higher."