Does Your Self-Talk Matter?

Waiting anxiously for my husband, Jim, to answer my call from England, I muttered, “Oh come on, Jim, please be home. I’ve got to talk to you.” Finally, he answered.

“Has Interest magazine arrived and is my article in it?” I asked, after a quick greeting.

“Yes, it came,” said Jim, “but I’m afraid your article isn’t in it.”

I felt crushed and embarrassed. Jim tried to cheer me up but I felt like a failure. After hanging up the phone I started to berate myself.

Obviously, your first attempt at writing an article was a failure, I chided. Why did you ever think you could do this? You know you don’t have the training or experience to write something worth publishing. Give up the idea of writing; it’s clear you can’t do it.

After recognizing what was happening in my mind, I decided it was time to talk back and tell myself the truth. You’re not a failure just because you tried and didn’t succeed, I told myself firmly. If you don’t try, you’ll never find out what the Lord can do in you. Giving up is not the way to grow and become a person God can use. After talking to myself, I talked to God.

“Lord,” I prayed. “You know I did my best, even though it doesn’t look like it was good enough. I want to serve You with whatever gifts You’ve given me. I know gifts need developing so I’m not going to give up. I’m going to keep on learning and trying. The results are up to You.”

A few weeks later I stood in the kitchen chatting to a friend. “Be the way,” Dave said, “I really enjoyed your article in this month’s Interest magazine.

“What are you talking about?” I asked in shock. “It was supposed to be in last month’s issue. Are you sure it was my article?”

Dave hadn’t made a mistake. When my copy of the magazine arrived, there it was, along with an editorial note saying the article was meant to be in the previous issue but had been held over due to lack of space.

Does your self-talk matter? Absolutely. Scripture urges, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23). “Heart” and “mind” are often used interchangeably in the Bible—one speaking of our emotions, the other of our thinking.

Why the warning? Because what you think and tell yourself determines the direction of your life. Instead of allowing yourself to be defeated by demoralizing self-talk, start questioning what you tell yourself. Begin this process of transforming your mind by asking 3 key questions:

• Why do I think this about myself? Is what I’m telling myself based on truth or assumption? How do I know it is true? What facts support or contradict what I believe?
• Is what I’m saying to myself Biblically true? Did my heavenly Father say this about me? Are the words I hear or repeat to myself the kind of words the Good Shepherd would say to His beloved sheep?
• What are the consequences if I believe this? What will I lose? What blessings will I miss? What will NOT happen if I let my negative self-talk dominate my decisions and direction?

Changing your self-talk is not a quick process. It takes persistence and determination. But it is possible. After my initial temptation to give up I kept working on what I was telling myself. The result so far? Books and Bible studies that would never have been written if I had listened to my negative self-talk.

How about you? Are your thoughts limiting your future path? Could some helpful and prayerful coaching make a difference in your life?

Instead of letting fear of failure hold you back, I’d love to help you discover what God has made you capable of accomplishing. It might surprise you, as it did me!

Get in touch at: poppysmithcontact@gmail.com

(This article is adapted from I’m Too Human to Be Like Jesus—Spiritual Growth for the Not-So-Perfect Woman)

Poppy