How Do You Handle Regrets?
“Not that I have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me” Phil. 3:12
Regrets Have Power
Whether it was a quick email response, an unfortunate comment, or a decision that hurt others, regrets are part of life. I appreciate the Apostle Paul’s honest comment that he was not perfect—and nor am I. Who is?
I recently heard a sermon about Peter’s denial of Jesus. It was titled, “And the cock crowed!” Can you imagine Peter’s horror at what he had done? His regrets, his shame, his inner agony at betraying the One he had followed for three years.
There are two specific incidents in my life that can still trigger grief and shame. One as a young mom, and the other with my late father. I wish I had handled both situations differently—but none of us can unscramble eggs (something an older and wiser British friend told me). Choosing to accept God’s forgiveness, and forgiving myself, eases those painful memories.
I think of friends who shared their regrets:
After a bitter divorce, my friend, Pam, whispered, “If only I had understood how to make a relationship work. Maybe my family would still be together.”
Guilt gripped Nancy when she thought of her grandmother. “If only I hadn’t neglected her when she was old and lonely,” she lamented.
Filled with regrets over some poor choices she had made, Cora constantly called herself names, felt she was a failure and was convinced that the world would be better off without her. Her guilt led to severe depression and even attempted suicide before she received the help she needed.
Left unresolved, regrets produce powerfully negative emotions. They cause us to:
Whether it was a quick email response, an unfortunate comment, or a decision that hurt others, regrets are part of life. I appreciate the Apostle Paul’s honest comment that he was not perfect—and nor am I. Who is?
I recently heard a sermon about Peter’s denial of Jesus. It was titled, “And the cock crowed!” Can you imagine Peter’s horror at what he had done? His regrets, his shame, his inner agony at betraying the One he had followed for three years.
There are two specific incidents in my life that can still trigger grief and shame. One as a young mom, and the other with my late father. I wish I had handled both situations differently—but none of us can unscramble eggs (something an older and wiser British friend told me). Choosing to accept God’s forgiveness, and forgiving myself, eases those painful memories.
I think of friends who shared their regrets:
After a bitter divorce, my friend, Pam, whispered, “If only I had understood how to make a relationship work. Maybe my family would still be together.”
Guilt gripped Nancy when she thought of her grandmother. “If only I hadn’t neglected her when she was old and lonely,” she lamented.
Filled with regrets over some poor choices she had made, Cora constantly called herself names, felt she was a failure and was convinced that the world would be better off without her. Her guilt led to severe depression and even attempted suicide before she received the help she needed.
Left unresolved, regrets produce powerfully negative emotions. They cause us to:
- Sentence ourselves to feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and self-hatred.
- Feel ashamed and unworthy of being loved by others or by God.
- Fear being exposed and believing others would reject us if they knew what we had done.
Most of us have regrets because none of us is perfect, but how have your regrets affected YOU? And what can you do now if you still feel guilty and ashamed?
God Can Set You Free
Both Paul and Peter had many reasons to be shackled with regrets. Paul attacked and imprisoned Christians and even approved of killing them. Yet Paul did what you and I need to do with our regrets: forget what is behind, look forward, and press on (Philippians 3:12-14).
Paul didn’t waste his time or his emotional and spiritual energies by looking back and dwelling on his past because it accomplishes NOTHING. God calls YOU, and me, to do the same.
In His gracious understanding of Peter’s failure, Jesus restored him, asking three times, “Peter, do you love me?” His love is not dependent on our PERFECTION.
If regrets haunt you, read and rejoice over these statements God makes:
Reject Satan’s Trap
Satan tries to use regrets to keep us emotionally and spiritually miserable. If this happens in your life:
If I can be of help through these hard places, feel free to get in touch.
Love in Christ Jesus,
Poppy
God Can Set You Free
Both Paul and Peter had many reasons to be shackled with regrets. Paul attacked and imprisoned Christians and even approved of killing them. Yet Paul did what you and I need to do with our regrets: forget what is behind, look forward, and press on (Philippians 3:12-14).
Paul didn’t waste his time or his emotional and spiritual energies by looking back and dwelling on his past because it accomplishes NOTHING. God calls YOU, and me, to do the same.
In His gracious understanding of Peter’s failure, Jesus restored him, asking three times, “Peter, do you love me?” His love is not dependent on our PERFECTION.
If regrets haunt you, read and rejoice over these statements God makes:
- If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John l:9)
- Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow… (Isaiah 1:18).
No matter how great your sin, God says He will remove it as you bring it to Him. - Since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus … let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience… (Hebrews 10:19-22).
Rather than fixating on your failures, fixate on what God says!
Reject Satan’s Trap
Satan tries to use regrets to keep us emotionally and spiritually miserable. If this happens in your life:
- Refuse to let him have a victory in your circumstances.
- Confess your failures and then forget them.
- Celebrate your freedom in Christ—dance, sing, clap your hands, weep with gratitude! THEN:
- Pivot your mental focus and move forward with a cleansed conscience and renewed passion to serve our Amazing God.
If I can be of help through these hard places, feel free to get in touch.
Love in Christ Jesus,
Poppy