“I Feel SO Hurt!” Now What?
“Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God…
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger and evil speaking be put away from you…”
Ephesians 4:30-32
Has anyone gone through life without being hurt?
- Children – young or adult – can be hurt by their mothers, fathers, siblings, teachers and other human beings.
- Friends hurt others—sometimes because of their own negative mindset, sometimes without meaning to.
- Co-workers and bosses hurt their employees with criticism, gossip, and lack of empathy or support.
- Spouses feel hurt when their expectations aren’t met, assuming their partner should know what they want without being told!
- Even fellow believers can inflict pain through blurted out words, judgments, and rejection of those they disagree with.
SO, NOW WHAT? Our reaction to being hurt can range from:
Amazement and Shock: How could they (he or she) say such a thing?
Asking: What have I done to be treated like this?
Anger: You have no right to speak to me like that!
Attack: I’ll tell you what you are like!
However we respond in the moment, HURT easily grows roots of BITTERNESS.
The writer of Hebrews warns: “Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.” The Message, Hebrews 12:15
WHAT GARDEN CAN A SEED OF BITTERNESS RUIN? Here are some we are all familiar with:
Family Relationships – we take offence, cut off contact, tear down
Friendships – we practice avoidance, share our offence, hurt back
Work environments – we gossip and complain, seeking others’ support
Christian Fellowships – we speak against our brothers and sisters in Christ, assuming motives and beliefs, wounding and causing division.
RECOGNIZE THE POWER OF HURT FEELINGS!
Pretending that you’re not hurt or angry or depressed doesn’t make your feelings go away. Buried bitterness doesn’t stay buried. It comes out in different ways and at different times.
Instead of letting bitterness take root, allow Scripture and the Holy Spirit to free you.
In Psalm 42, King David models how to handle hurt, pain, and heartache.
WHAT GARDEN CAN A SEED OF BITTERNESS RUIN? Here are some we are all familiar with:
Family Relationships – we take offence, cut off contact, tear down
Friendships – we practice avoidance, share our offence, hurt back
Work environments – we gossip and complain, seeking others’ support
Christian Fellowships – we speak against our brothers and sisters in Christ, assuming motives and beliefs, wounding and causing division.
RECOGNIZE THE POWER OF HURT FEELINGS!
Pretending that you’re not hurt or angry or depressed doesn’t make your feelings go away. Buried bitterness doesn’t stay buried. It comes out in different ways and at different times.
Instead of letting bitterness take root, allow Scripture and the Holy Spirit to free you.
In Psalm 42, King David models how to handle hurt, pain, and heartache.
- He expresses his longing for God, acknowledges his strong emotions, and reveals his helpful practice of honest self-awareness. (v. 3-5)
- He not only asks himself WHY he is feeling so down, discouraged and depressed, HE DIRECTS HIMSELF TO THE ANSWER:
- Put your hope in God! (v. 6) HE THEN CHANGES HIS FOCUS:
- Instead of being overwhelmed by his emotions, He chooses to REMEMBER what God has done in his life. (v.6-8)
- Thinking back on where God met you, led you, and revealed His love to you softens your perspective, freeing you to release hurt.
Staying hard and bitter is allowing yourself to live as a
victim of what you experienced.
Freeing yourself from bitterness, resentment and grudges comes as you take time to worship God, soaking in His forgiveness and all-embracing love for you.
Cry out to Him, saying, “God, I don’t want to live without the joy and freedom You have for me. Work in me, free me, make me who You want me to be. Thank you that You can change my heart. Amen.
Poppy